Date: 16th june 2025
In childhood we learn behaviors that help us.
My dad felt sympathy for those who had "though luck" in life. My unconsious conclusion as a child was that if I am a looser I can get his kindness. So it was a battle between lust for winning and lust for sympathy.
All we can do when we see a pattern like that is seeing it. As long as we take the physical world we live in personal it is going to be very hard to live.
Good luck :)