Date: 20th august 2025
What I learned from going on a couple of dates
Generally
- Thinking fast vs thinking slow: think slow sometimes. Take 2 days to think about the actions you have done. Sleep well. Then act again.
- Power vs force: Give the other person enough space to develop love. Don't be a tennis ball machine let it bean interaction. Know that you don't need a relationship with this person. You can always walk away. Don't get incredibly intense right away. "The brightest flames burn out the soonest". First date is just about getting comfortable.
- Communicate your intention / wants / needs right away. Don't bullshit around. Friendzone awaits you otherwise. Crash or make it
Specifically
What do I want?
- I want a romantic relationship with a woman who is ready to work through problems and has a good heart (synonym is a giver who can set limits).
Rules
- Don't text her for 48h after the first date.
- Don't go for longer than 90 minute first date
- Ask the other person what they want: Do they want to text everyday? Do they want to see each other a lot?
- Confront her: I have a question...(dramatic waiting) about us...(dramatic waiting)Is this friendship or is there a chance this interaction takes some other form?
- When there is a problem take a break for 48h-168h without communication.
- When there is a problem listen to what the other persons problem is, rephrase, voice your own pov, let it sit and see if the mind works something out.
Breaking up
Let everything out as soon as possible if you don't want to get traumatized. Everything in moderation, including moderation. Don't keep it inside just go out and do all the shit you always wanted to do. Be honest tell people your heart is broken when they ask. And at a certain point the mind might say: okay I'm done, now deal with regret. And then you can question whether you've done everything you wanted to do, take the lessons you learned home and from there you will be on your feet, meet friends that are stable and go again, (but remeber not too intense your just trying to have some fun with someone for some time).